The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25
Andrew Rutherford
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Arthur C. Clarke
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
Bank Of America Tech Support
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Bjarne Stroustrup
Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!
Blair Houghton
Most of the evils of life arise from man's being unable to sit still in a room.
Blaise Pascal
I want to know what good is a web search engine that returns 324,909,188 'matches' to my keyword. That's like saying, "Good news, we've located the product you're looking for. It's on Earth."
Bruce Cameron
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Carl Zwanzig
Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Dennis Ritchie
Those... were shitty last words.
Ealf, PSDF Aggression
Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
F. P. Jones
I'd give you my pity... but I save that for retards.
Friend #1, The Thin H Line
And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! Thats the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well...
George Carlin
There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.
Guy Almes
A crash is when your competitors program dies. When your program dies, it is an idiosyncrasy. Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like ID 02. ID is an abbreviation for idiosyncrasy and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had.
Guy Kawasaki
We're thinking about upgrading from SunOS 4.1.1 to SunOS 3.5.
Henry Spencer
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Janet Reno
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Jeremy S. Anderson
The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.
John Gilmore
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Leonard Brandwein
Those scared of the dark have never seen what the light can do.
Lightning Bolt, Magic the Gathering
Magic happens here
Linux Kernel 2.6.0, suspend.c:769
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.
Lord Kelvin
I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though she's too young to have logged on yet. Here's what I worry about: I worry that 10 or 15 years from now, she will come to me and say "Daddy, where were you when they took freedom of the press away from the Internet?"
Mike Godwin
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Mitch Ratliffe
Your best dreams may not come true; fortunately, neither will your worst dreams.
Newman's Discovery
Be careful, lest in banishing your demons, you banish the best thing within you.
The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner has a future.
Oscar Wilde
Data expands to fill the space available for storage
Parkinson's Law of Data
Everything that I've learned about computers at MIT I have boiled down into three principles: Unix: You think it won't work, but if you find the right wizard, he can make it work. Macintosh: You think it will work, but it won't. PC/Windows: You think it won't work, and it won't.
Philip Greenspun
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
Rich Kulawiec
No, this is the great Theater Of Life. Admission is free but the taxation is mortal. You come when you can and leave when you must. The show is continuous.
Robertson Davies
Life sucks. Get a fucking helmet.
Sheldon Noble
You are not expected to understand this.
Source Of Unix 6th Ed, Unix/Slp.C, Line 438
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Thomas Edison
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Thomas Watson